Wednesday, March 28, 2012
So it's days like this when I just want to loose myself from all the realities of the world. When there's just me and nature and no one to disturb my meditation. Days like March 24th, this year.
Days like that time on the same beach, on the same paseo, with the same weather. But no longer with the same person who had always gone here with me. I came alone.
There are plenty of reasons why I just want to be with myself, why I want to escape, why driving away from my usual simple life just for a day is as important as breathing. I just want to lurk without directions, without plans, without an identity, without anything extra attached to me.
The beach seemed the perfect place to do just that. I drank in the view of the beach, the blue of the sky, the white of the clouds and the quiet whisper of the wind. I let the waters lap around my ankles, savoring the feeling of a touch of something other than human. I let the sun dab a good amount of its heat around me. Everything was quiet, everything was untouched. All of it, even the temporary lonesomeness was perfect.
Days like this are beautiful. It constantly reminds a person to sometimes take a break from doing their job of "living". How I see this as an alternative to living is confusing because I don't get it myself. But in a similar way I always find important reflections when I see the world in a different angle. The sadness, unease, failures and exhaustion that built up inside me after long days of being "normal" are extremely small compared to the everyday problems that other people have to face throughout their lives. I've known this for long, and I've muttered this to myself every single day, "Louise, it's okay not to be perfect." But I just probably needed to be reminded of it by someone else, or rather in this case, something else.
I'm living a simple life with not much expectancies other than reaching for my aspirations and dreams. I've known no other life and have no plans whatsoever on changing any of it for the next few years. Maybe I'm just bored or random or the usual borderline or bipolar. Still, there are many reasons for me to want days like this. Everybody needs days like this. I need days like this.