Sunday, July 24, 2011
Today I've had one of those healing moments that only ever happen once in a blue moon. I received my father's good blessing to support me on my detailed future.
I texted him about another book that I wanted. He responded, saying that I ought to read more books related to my college course. I replied in my own indifferent way that I am uninterested in anything Nursing-related and that I often read medical books, research diseases and pathology, and read fiction and write my own imagination on paper.
I feared another disappointment from him, something like, "wasting your tuition on your disinterest." But he was calm and strangely, he offered his support. Like me, he always thought of my primary course as just a stepping stone to my greater dream - becoming a doctor. I was happy. I knew he always wanted me to end up taking a job that labeled me as a smart person.
"But Papa, I want to be a novelist too. I want to write books. No, I don't want to compete with J.K. Rowling. She's my ultimate idol and I want to be famous in my own right. I want to publish my own books. I want you to be able to read them before your eyesight gets worse."
"Then, baby, I'll have to order a better pair of eyeglasses so that I can read your work. Do make sure that in everything you do, in every creation you publicize, there is the name VIRAY to show your pride. EXPLORE YOUR TALENT my dear so that you may be able to reach your dreams. I never reached mine, so I want you to be able to do that in my place because I know that you're smart and that your genius can bring you to places no one else can go to."
"Papa no matter how smart I am now, I still envy those who work hard for their dreams. People don't see me as hardworking so my successes are only mediocre. I like people like you Papa, you worked hard for your dream and even though you weren't able to attain it you still landed a respectable position in your job and society. What is a person's destiny without him using effort? I'm glad I have hardworking people surrounding me - they inspire me to stop dreaming and create reality from what I have now. Thank you for your support Papa, you inspire me the most. My future job will always be a right to be bragged about to my self. My works will always be a dedication to my family who supported me to the end."
"Papa will always be proud of you. Always think of your family because they are always there for you. Remember that you are who you will be because you chose your destiny. But there will always be people in your life that you cannot erase nor deny - your family. Study hard and make us proud. Papa loves you very much!"
I feel extremely blessed and encouraged that I was able to shed tears of joy. Another angle of my banal life has opened that changed my perspective of reaching a future. Maybe I don't really make unlikely decisions, maybe they just don't make sense to me now.
Someday I'll know for sure how much I deserve the life I am to live in and how much I deserved the encouragement I received from my peers. Nevertheless, I am glad to be inspired in ways I never expected to happen. Right now, I am appreciating another chapter contributed immensely by a person I will always respect, someone I'll one day devote a big part of my life to - my Papa.